I sat down with my grandmother the other day. She loss her mother, father and all 10 of her brothers and sisters. She stated “you must move on”.She said”Let go they are gone find a new life without them”. I processed everything she was saying as cruel, Then I realized she was numb to death . My grandmother didn’t want to tap into those feelings. She said ” Look up there” as she pointed to a box on top of her vintage china cabinet. She said ” that’s my sister sitting right up there , “You just have to move on”. I’ve never seen my grandmother cry, I’ve never seen her display sadness I wonder does she even feel anymore. Does pain run so deep that you can emotionally detach yourself so far that you can’t feel? I watch my grandmother and admire her strength but are we truly suppose to be that strong? What is the individual lesson we are learning if we were so close to the one that passed?  I viewed this as a display of how we are taught to deal with death, we are taught to be saddened and to hurt. My grandmother taught me in that moment life and death is what you as an individual make it. You dont have to shead tears and show sorrow because thats what the world says. She then said with so much confidence” i know i will see all of them again”.  My grandmother then started to tell me a story of when her sister was dying. She said “my sister said she saw our brother in her dream who had passed many years ago and he said “come on Doris im tired of waiting for you”. ” Stop fighting and come on”. Now thats reality for our loved ones to come to us in our dreams. Its when our souls communicate and we are fully aware. My grandmother stated that not long after that her sister passed on. At that moment aunt Doris was ready to leave the physical world and begin her journey in another dimension.My grandmother said her sister was ready and willing and she was going to be with her brother and everyone else. Death doesnt have to be sad its a new beginning for your loved one and a new beginning for you. We are here temporarily prepare yourself to meet them again because that time will come.


  1. Oh, I wish I could hug you, and tell you it will all be okay. But, your life will never be the same again. Grief will change you, and no matter what you have read about the process and stages of Grief, it IS different for everyone. Never, never, ever, doubt yourself. The only way to get through this, is to live through this. There will be tears, unexpected moments of sorrow, but, you will live through this. You will be a different person. You will view life differently. You will know more about living than anyone who has never had a loss such as yours.

    I send you spirit hugs and healing light, and hope that you give yourself time. There is NO limit on how long it takes to learn to live with loss. As I said in one of my posts, an author wrote a book titled, “I’m grieving as fast as I can.” I have not read the book because I believe the answers are inside us. But, I loved the title of her book, it says it all.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I lost my daughter in a car accident 2 years ago. I have learned that you don’t “move on”as much as “live on”. We have to live our lives with joy to honour our loved one. They would not want us to be unhappy.


  3. Grief is not something you “get over,” like a cold. It is something you live with every day.
    There is still beauty in every day, against the backdrop of unbearable tragedy. Hold on to it.


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